This pretty much says everything about why most women don’t teach men how to belly dance. Why do I say that? I know a lot of dancers (myself included!) that could be quite jealous of this man. It’s sometimes hard to watch a man dance a performance that’s classically attributed to women, such as belly dance has largely become in this country. However, if you watch this video, you’ll know exactly why we, as instructors, should teach men to belly dance! Look at his moves, his precision! How could anyone deny someone who holds so much potential as that?
So, dance sisters everywhere, I ask you to watch this video and appreciate your dance brothers. They’re part of what makes this dance a community where all are accepted, no matter what your race, orientation, creed, size, or gender. We’re all beautiful!
There’s been a lot of talk over my entire dance career about belly dancers. I’ve often heard the phrase “too much drama to dance”. Often times this is paired with “any time you get a group of women together, you’ve got to expect them to get catty.” This has called into question the way a lot of dancers present themselves.
Now, I know I could easily turn this into a list of what not to do and the fastest way to ruin your reputation, but I don’t want to go there. Who wants to dwell on the “what not to do” when it’s so much better to stay positive? Everyone already knows that a negative attitude will lose you friends, dance sisters, and even business if you’re a professional. It’s also pretty common knowledge that catty gossip and back-biting can be the quickest way to end a career too. I don’t think it warrants any more thought than that.
However, there’s the opposition to that. What should we be doing as dancers to maintain our reputation? And if you’re just a beginner, does it really matter? A lot of people know what not to do, but not when it starts to count, or what they should do instead. Sometimes it’s not as simple as it seems.
So, let’s start at the beginning. There’s a reason I start out my new dancers with a healthy dose of history. The more they know about the art, the better they’ll be at representing the art. I always try to tell my students to treat the art form as respect. After all, there’s a reason belly dance is associated with stripping and pole dancing. I’ve heard all too many times that people think belly dance is as easy as slapping on a coin scarf and wiggling your butt. Well, we dancers know it’s much harder than that.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that new dancers shouldn’t share their love of dance. What I am saying is that with education of the dance and it’s history comes a greater respect for the art. It’s amazing how differently a dancer will act when she loves the art then when she just wants to use it to impress a few guys. This is most important for us teachers! We need to help our students understand that there’s a lot more to belly dance than sex appeal, especially since it’s a family-friendly dance!
One of the things I love seeing is a dancer get up to join the crowd at a hafla or a drum circle event. They’re always so modest, starting with the same kind of thing. ”I’m not very good,” they say, “I just started dancing X months ago.” Sure, some of that is modesty, but I also know that same dancer isn’t going to be running off to every venue promoting themselves as a professional after only two classes. These dancers will often blossom into beautiful dancers that have a great respect for their own hard-earned dance skills. These are also the same kind of dancers that I know will really want to work to build their skills. After all, they know it takes more than two classes to know how to dance like a pro!
As a beginner dancer, reputation doesn’t mean much, but their reputation will grow with them as they meet other dancers, attend work shops and events, and eventually get up on stage themselves. The best thing they can possibly do is be honest, genuine people both as dancers or students and in their every day lives. Then again, doesn’t that kind of go for everything in life? For a lot of students it’s easy to stay away from negativity, gossip, and cattiness in the dance world if their teacher isn’t that kind of person.
Which brings us to teachers and other professionals. For us professionals, reputation really is everything. Students build an impression of their instructor based on that reputation, and other people may choose to join the class or not based on that reputation. Because of that, it’s always good to build a positive reputation based on positive experiences.
I always tell my students when they’re looking for a new instructor, whether just looking for variety or because they’re moving away, they should look for a teacher with a good reputation. This is sometimes hard to do and you’ve got to look a little below the surface sometimes. One of the teachers I took a class from had a great reputation. Her students loved her classes, but it turned out that it was because she had her students on stage at every event she could arrange, even if they were brand new dancers. For me I was looking to actually become a good dancer, not just for stage time, so I didn’t stick with the class long.
When I look for an instructor, I look for very specific things about them. First of all, do the students enjoy the class? Do they come away feeling good about themselves? Everyone wants to stick with a class that leaves them feeling pretty good at the end of the day. Do they teach proper technique? While it may be hard to identify for a newer dancer, it’s good to at least watch to see if the instructor is correcting things like posture and giving instructions on how to perform the move safely. Most importantly, I’ve found many students really appreciated that I’ve actually encouraged them to go seek out instruction from other teachers. It gives them the sense that students aren’t being treated like property and I care more about their growing dance skills than money in my pocket. At the end of the day, isn’t that what it’s about? Making sure the students get a satisfactory experience?
I guess that’s one of the reasons why I don’t tend to be an overly strict instructor either. As much as I’m a perfectionist, I understand that perfection (or as close to it as any human can come) takes time and a lot of practice. I can’t just jump into something and be great at it, and neither will my students. I don’t set a time-line of how many years they have to be dancing before they can get on stage. I’ve had a lot of really great mentors who have taught me sometimes presenting opportunities for even the newest beginners get on stage at appropriate venues, like student shows, really goes a long way to helping students own sense of confidence in their dancing. If I had it my way, I’d have all of my students in every class of every skill level perform in a student show at the end of every year. I think they’d all love it as much as I would.
For performers and teachers alike, there’s a lot of things you can do to promote good-will and gain a good reputation. Personally, I like to remember to smile whenever dealing with customers and students, or at least to do it as much as possible. After all, dance makes me happy, and even if I’m just on the phone, the person on the other end can hear it in my voice. I’ve learned from a lot of marketing people in my life that it really pays to get excited about what I do, and share that excitement. People are more likely to get excited about something when they see the way your eyes light up when you talk about it. Happiness and excitement are infectious! Sure, there are some dancers who prefer that aloof, mysterious appearance and remain rather distant, but I’ve found across all businesses you get a better reputation from being friendly and approachable.
Then there’s the obvious ones. Nothing says “good reputation” like being punctual. That means getting back to people on time, arriving on time, and having as few cancellations on your part as possible. Combine these with a friendly, easy to work with nature and all of the sudden everyone loves you! On top of that, it’s taken a lot less work to get a positive outcome than it does to cut down other dancers and be catty.
I guess what I’m saying is the best advice I have for dealing with the reputation issue in a field where reputation is everything would be to stay positive. Love your art and you’ll find that others respond. It’s more than just offering quality or pushing yourself or your students to be the best they can be. The truth is the only thing that matters is the experiences of those around you. That means being friendly, social, and positive.
In short, having a good reputation doesn’t take a lot of work. It’s actually harder to gain a bad reputation than it is to get a good reputation if you really love what you do. Most importantly, have fun with it in a positive way. If you’re having fun, everyone around you will be too!
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